


forge on

by emblems



Series: SASO2017 [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Future Fic, Gen, Relationship Study, Training Camp, captain!tsukishima
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 21:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11998290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emblems/pseuds/emblems
Summary: prompt: training campThey only win one match that day."We have a lot to work on," Ukai tells them before they break for dinner. "But don't let this defeat you; we have a week to work hard and come back from this."Though the words are directed at the team as a whole, Tsukishima can't help but feel like Ukai's comments are being laid directly at his feet.





	forge on

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Marks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marks/gifts).



> written for saso 2017, bonus round two

Tsukishima had been right to dread the training camp. Practice at Karasuno had been manageable—he'd even been getting the hang of it.  
  
Leading drills, trying to include the first years, keeping the third and second years humble despite their successes the previous season—being captain became less of an indomitable monolith and became enjoyable again.  
  
But the Tokyo training camp meant playing against other teams, meant being under the lens of other coaches and captains as they scoped him out, tested his limits and his abilities, trying to figure out what to expect from him.  
  
Tsukishima has half a mind to snap at them, tell them they better settle in for a long wait, because _he_ barely knows what to expect. His old doubts resurface, and his sense of self-awareness is too sharp to miss the way it impacts his plays, his attitude on the court.  
  
That's the other thing about being captain—when he's struggling, so is the rest of the team. He's still trying to figure that one out.  
  
He reverts to what he knows, trying to think about what Ennoshita or Daichi would do in his shoes, trying to emulate how they dealt with a problem, but that doesn't work either.  
  
He shrugs off Yamaguchi's hand on his shoulder, ignores Hinata's prodding that's meant to stoke his competitive fire, snaps at Yachi over lunch, and he can't meet Kageyama's eyes.  
  
They only win one match that day.  
  
"We have a lot to work on," Ukai tells them before they break for dinner. "But don't let this defeat you; we have a week to work hard and come back from this."  
  
Though the words are directed at the team as a whole, Tsukishima can't help but feel like Ukai's comments are being laid directly at his feet.  
  
After a tense meal, Tsukishima excuses himself and goes to sit at the top of the hill that Karasuno has grown painfully familiar with. He pulls out his phone and stares at his contacts, debating the merits of texting someone like Kuroo or Daichi. He has Kuroo's number pulled up when he becomes aware of a figure at the base of the hill.  
  
As the individual draws closer, Tsukishima can tell it's Kageyama.  
  
He reaches the hill's crest and sits next to Tsukishima, pulling one knee up to his chest. "Yamaguchi was looking for you."  
  
Tsukishima waits for Kageyama to tell him to get up and go seek Yamaguchi out, but he doesn't.  
  
The silence stretches between them, and just as Tsukishima is about to joke about Kageyama being even more terse than usual, Kageyama blurts out: "You're not a bad captain."  
  
Tsukishima blinks. "Thanks?"  
  
He must really be a mess if Kageyama, of all people, is trying to reassure him. Tsukishima is about to excuse himself in an attempt to dodge the conversation altogether, but Kageyama keeps going.  
  
"That's—I'm not done." He inhales. "You don't have to be Ennoshita-senpai, or Daichi-san—"  
  
Tsukishima's heard this before, back when he was first made captain. "I know that—"  
  
"Then why do you keep trying to be?" Kageyama asks. "Coach didn't pick you because you're nice like Ennoshita, or strong like Daichi—"  
  
" _Oi_ —"  
  
"You're both those things, but not like them, so it doesn't work when you're trying to be them."  
  
Tsukshima blinks. "You think I'm nice?"  
  
Kageyama looks away, and even in the dim light of dusk Tsukishima can see the slight flush coloring his cheeks. "Kinda—in your own shitty way, I guess. You look out for us even when you pretend you don't care. It's... yeah, it's nice." He eyes Tsukishima. "You've always been like that, and now you're trying to be different, and that's why it feels weird."  
  
Tsukishima can't hold his gaze. "I just—I didn't ask for this, so I don't know—"  
  
Kageyama shrugs. "So? Hinata and I still don't always know what we're doing."  
  
Tsukishima snorts and rolls his eyes. "I'm more than aware."  
  
Silence settles between them for a moment. Tsukishima inhales, trying to piece something together. "I'm just. How have you dealt with it all this time?"  
  
Kageyama frowns. "Dealt with what?"  
  
"The team just—expecting these great things from you. How do you..." Tsukishima trails off uselessly, left with only a small hope that Kageyama understands what he's trying to articulate.  
  
It's a moment before Kageyama responds. "I just don't think about it."  
  
Tsukishima groans. "Insightful as always," he says, though his voice lacks any venom. His ire, at this point, is really only directed at himself.  
  
Kageyama tries again: "I mean—I focus on other things, I guess. I try to think about the next play instead, or the match, or trying to counter the other team."  
  
"Volleyball as usual, then," Tsukishima mutters.  
  
Kageyama nods. "And maybe you should too."  
  
Tsukishima raises an eyebrow. "How so?"  
  
Kageyama chews the inside of his mouth as he thinks—"Don't hurt yourself," Tsukishima mutters—and finally answers: "You're not a bad captain. As long as you stop trying to be like every other captain. Just be Tsukishima and play volleyball as usual. That's why you're captain and not anyone else."  
  
"You say that like it's that simple."  
  
Kageyama frowns, holding Tsukishima's gaze steadily. "It is, though."  
  
Tsukishima feels a flash of envy that despite being the starting setter for over two years, despite being recognized as one of the best players in the prefecture—if not the whole of Japan—his philosophy boils down to _just keep playing_.  
  
"There's something else, though," Kageyama says.  
  
"And what's that?"  
  
"You keep trying to do this alone," Kageyama answers.  
  
The gravity of the statement, coming from Kageyama, is not lost on him, and Tsukishima looks away, suddenly quite interested in his own feet.  
  
Kageyama continues: ""It was getting better, but then today happened."  
  
He's not wrong—Yamaguchi and Yachi have been nothing but steadying and supportive presences, and even dealing with Hinata gave Tsukishima something familiar to work with, giving him a starting point from which to build his relationships with the rest of the team.  
  
And then Kageyama. In hindsight, Tsukishima wonders how he missed Kageyama becoming one of the leaders on the team, being a starter and the center of their offense for so long. Kageyama's sense for the game is one of Tsukishima's most oft-used resources. They spent time after practice and spare moments in between classes hashing out the team's strengths and weaknesses, what they need to work on and what's already solid. It gives Tsukishima something concrete to focus on—goals to achieve, ground to cover.  
  
And today he casted all of that—all of _them_ —aside.  
  
He sighs. "You're annoyingly perceptive tonight; are you sure you're not some kind of body double?"  
  
Kageyama pushes his shoulder, and Tsukishima smirks. He's about to say something else, maybe even something like a thank you, but Hinata's voice suddenly reaches them, calling for them both to come to gym three.  
  
"Speaking of people trying to be like their mentors," Tsukishima mutters. "He's going to scare all the first years if he keeps doing this."  
  
Kageyama responds, "I don't think Hinata is the one that scares them."  
  
"That's probably true, he probably couldn't scare a pigeon if— _wait_ —"  
  
Kageyama is already on his feet and running at a dead sprint down the hill, and Tsukishima yells after him about cutting off his milk supply before giving chase.


End file.
